Great philosophers tell us that it's not suffering that makes us miserable rather it is our perception of suffering. Hmmm...deep. Real deep. And in some ways connected to the truths we know in God's word.
Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
What we choose to think about can affect our feelings and ultimately our behaviors. From a psychological perceptive, many great therapists use these principles as they listen and reflect with their clients.
From a mom perspective, how does what I choose to focus on manifest itself in my family?
One of the greatest things I have read lately came from CJ Mahaney. If you've read this blog for a while you know that I'm a great critic of the Mahaney's. I love to question...and often I post about what I'm struggling to understand. But, recently, I read something that has stuck with me.
Cultivating joy in the family. The Mahaney children wrote about how joyful their family was and ways that they intentionally enjoyed each other. I like that. I like that a lot.
When Sam and Reagan are old...when they are raising their own babies or pursuing their own paths...I'd like for them to say that we had a joyful family. I'd like to remember us enjoying each other.
And I want to do this in an intentional kind of way. It seems to be that whatever I intention...whatever I expect...has impact on the results that are achieved.
Cultivating joy in the family would mean...
- more patience
- more laughter
- more being silly together
- singing more songs
- playing more games
- living together more...cooking meals together...folding laundry together...cleaning out the garage together
- praying more - less tradition and more talking with God
I like these thoughts. I like where it could lead our family.
It occurs to me that we are often together, but still separate. Each member doing their own thing. This is ok, but it can lead to a place where we can hide from each other. Involved in our own tasks and really enjoying the time that we share.
So...here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to start asking myself this question in the moment - "Am I intentionally loving my family right now?" and I'm going to see what happens.
I have a feeling that as a family we'll be experiencing even more joy!
...and even more thoughts...
As I re-read this post, it occurs to me that I rarely talk about my own childhood. There was a lot of joy in my house growing up. It's not like reading about the Mahaney household suddenly turned on the light for me. Nope, just helped frame and recall things I've lived. And maybe helped to paint these experiences in a brighter light.
So...for Sam and Reagan....a story.
One of the happiest memories I have involved a sudden snow and ice storm and cancelled school. Where I grew up winters were cold and snow happened often, but usually didn't stick around too long. One winter when I was probably 9 or 10 years we had a big storm. Snow fell on top of ice and things shut down for a few days. Papa had gotten a gray snow sled for Aunt Jodie and me. It had a brake on it and everything and we'd spent lots of days riding it down the hill in our backyard. On this day...Papa and Honey had an even better idea.
We all buddled up and headed out to the country. This was a 3 minute drive from our house. We found a pretty isolated road and Papa hooked the sled up to his pick up truck. Honey walked beside along the road and Papa pulled us in the truck. It was a BLAST! We laughed so hard and had so much fun. We'd ride together and Aunt Jodie sat in front of me. We had on so many layers of clothing that it was hard to move!
Now, it's a wonder we didn't get ourselves killed! Maybe not the brightest idea, but we didn't see another car that day and it felt like we were having more fun than any other kid in the entire world!
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