Happy Birthday, Reagan!

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl! Reagan is one and we are celebrating how wonderful she is!

Reagan,

You are one year old today and I can't believe the time has passed so quickly. You have such a sweet spirit and love to be around people. Your smile can change a room. Your curls simply melt my heart AND you have even started letting me put bows in them!

You have your Daddy wrapped around your tiny finger. He'd move mountains for you. Your brother adores you. You spend most of your time chasing him around the house! He's very protective of you when other kids are around.

You love music. From the very beginning you have loved music. Now you will start dancing and clapping your hands when songs are played. Some days I pick you up and we just dance around the room together! We twirl and twirl and your laugh makes my heart happy.

Happy Birthday, Daughter. I love you with all that I am.

Momma

Checking in...

We survived the expedition fiasco. Tickets for that show were $350. I was pleasantly surprised, but hoping not to watch another episode like that for a long time!!!! Sam is quick to tell everyone now that "Daddy broke his truck." By his...he mean's Sam's truck. This crazy thing has happened in our home...Sam has started to inform us that everything is really his.

Mom: Samuel, do not throw your toys at my wall. That is not nice.

Sam: This is my wall, Momma. I bought it with my money.

We have lots of posts to write and pictures to share, but right now we are soaking up every minute of this season.

Merry Christmas!!!

Play by Play

Wake up at 6 a.m.
Give Reagan a bottle and rock her back to sleep.
Feel wonderful.
Consider having a cup of coffee.
Opt for a can of fresca instead.
Healthy living at its best.
Take shower.
Make peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Pack preschool bags.
Find special Thomas the Train underpants.
Set out clothes.
Hear Sam call out.
Get Sam out of bed.
Hugs and kisses.
Breakfast burritos.
Hear Sam wake up Reagan after I told him specifically NOT to go into her room.
Get everyone dressed and out the door.
Feel sense of accomplishment that I remembered both children and their stuff.
Feel even greater sense of accomplishment that I brushed my teeth.
Drop kids off at daycare and head to work.
Six clients and one no show. Thank God for no shows before Thanksgiving.
Tears, smiles, tears, smiles, tears, smiles.
2:00 Phone call from husband. Good work news. Great work news. Excitement. Decide screaming in my office might alert the psychiatrists. Refrain. Again feel sense of accomplishment.
Return to clients.
Look at clock and realize its 4:30.
Pick up kids.
Head home.
Husband is home already.
This isn't a good day...this is a GREAT day!
Realize that husband has been doing things at the house all day. Fence is stained...new lighting installed...french drain put in...feel amazed.
Think to self...life is going great. What a great day.
Dinner out to celebrate good work news.
Home to put up Christmas tree. (I know...I know....)
Husband heads out to find camera.
Hear loud crash.
Very loud crash.
Realize perfect day may be over.
See that husband has literally ripped off the back of my expedition and the garage door is hanging on for dear life to its frame.
Samuel starts crying.
I think about crying.

What a CRAZY day!!!! Thank God for insurance. For the record when you put an expedition in a fight with a garage door both lose and the tickets to watch the show are probably very expensive. I guess we'll find out tomorrow.

Where are you?

I have blogs floating around inside my head. Memories that I want to remember.

Last week I was at the educational resource store with Sam and Reagan. Just a quick trip to pick up something for the play room. We go into the store and make the purchase. Things are going perfectly. I have perfect children. I am a wonderful mom. Things went like this for about two seconds. And then...

As I am putting Reagan in her car seat I call out to Samuel. I wanted to make sure he was still standing by the truck.

And then it happened.

I turned.

And saw my son.

My perfect son.

Peeing on the tire of my truck.

In the parking lot.

There were people walking by us.

I should have scolded him.

I should have had a moment of correction.

I mean...we can't just pee in parking lots on the tires of cars.

We should have standards.

But...I didn't.

I started laughing so hard I couldn't stop.

Later I did tell Samuel that it was inappropriate to pee on the tire of mommy's truck when she puts Reagan in the car seat.

The things we end up saying as parents!!!!

Thankfulness

It's the month for thankfulness. I love it.

Psalm 147:7
7 Sing to the LORD with thanksgiving; make music to our God on the harp.

Here are the words to my song of thanksgiving today.

Recognition of my need for a Savior,

Grateful that Jesus called me to Him when I was young,

Thankful that He walks this life with me,

Security in knowing that there is more than this life,

Being married to the person I still want to talk to more than anyone else in the world,

Seeing my love for him walk around our home,

Watching Reagan learn what she likes and doesn't like,

Samuel's ability to learn,

A peaceful home where there are calm conversations,

Remembering this time last year talking about a bad economy and making plans for business adventures,

Realizing that this has been a great year,

Knowing, again, that God holds all things in hand,

All things....the good and the bad,

Being ok with that,

And thankful for being ok with that,

Loving cool mornings and warm afternoons,

Seeing people who were once so overcome with hurt that they couldn't see past the moment,

Hearing them laugh in my office,

Knowing that this love for the romantic was birthed in my heart as a child,

Thankful that years of life haven't stolen it

Being thankful is good. Thanks, November for the reminder!

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Happy Birthday Daddy! Today is Scott's 31st birthday. It's official. He's old.

We're celebrating him today in the Kenley Casa. There are a million reasons to love him, but Sam, Reagan and I narrowed it down to our top 31....in no particular order. You might be able to tell who contributed each one!

1. He works hard for our family. His day begins at 4:45 on most mornings and he never complains.

2. He finds time to be with us every day.

3. He gives Reagan her morning bottle so Mommy can sleep until 6:30.

4. He watches hunting shows with Sam and pretends to shoot ducks in the living room.

5. He prays with us. He loves Jesus in a real and authentic way.

6. He is quick to give compliments out. He reminds us that he loves us.

7. He makes great homemade pico.

8. He can fix anything.

9. He makes great coffee and knows just how much creamer to put in it.

10. He will let Sam play with play-doh.

11. He is kind.

12. He is a good listener. He gives solid advice.

13. He does silly faces that make us laugh.

14. He loves to listen to Christian music.

15. His favorite ice cream is homemade vanilla by Blue Bell.

16. He lets us stay up late to watch encore western movies.

17. He loves to go to stock shows and festivals.

18. He helps with household chores...he always takes the kitchen.

19. He remembers important events.

20. He gives great hugs.

21. Mom loves how he holds her hand when he's driving.

22. He is good at seeing the big picture. He brings calm to stressful situations.

23. He loves to watch football.

24. He snores when he naps on Sunday afternoon.

25. He can speak Spanish.

26. He is willing to try almost anything once.

27. His dream job would be riding a tractor in the middle of a field ready for harvest. (Mom is glad he doesn't work his dream job!!!)

28. He loves Ducks Unlimited and duck hunting.

29. He is a great cuddler.

30. He loves to talk at night in front of the outdoor fire pit with a good glass of wine.

31. He is a dreamer and he helps us dream big dreams!

Happy Birthday, love. We're glad we get to call you Daddy! Today we celebrate you and how much you mean to us!

Hidden in the Heart

These words I whisper in Samuel's ear when he pauses long enough in his play to land in my lap.

"God has put a song in your heart...you just have to learn how to sing it."

Hello November

I'm so thankful that it's November. I love this time of year. The weather is AMAZING here in Texas and we are looking forward to the fun the next few months will bring.

We've made a committment to SLOW DOWN. October got way too busy and we all felt the stress around the Kenley Casa. So, we've been saying 'no' a lot more, but we're feeling much better. Well, Mama Kenley is feeling much better and that seems to be affecting every one else in good ways.

Lot's of things to blog about, but I'll start with our family photo session. We did some shots a few weeks ago and got the pictures this week.

Scott and I will be married 5 years in April. It doesn't seem possible that it's been that long or that we now have two kids that look just like us at our feet all the time! I'm so thankful for this family of mine. This time of year is always full of reflection...and lately I reflect a lot on how grateful I am to be Scott's wife and Sam and Reagan's mom. Life is good...real good.

Because of...

Because of September 11, 1959
May 28, 1977 happened.
Because of May 28, 1977
March 21, 1979 happened.

Because of all this, we celebrated this weekend.

Did you follow all that?

This weekend I met my mom in Dallas to celebrate her 50th birthday.
We had so much fun that we only took two pictures. That's right, two. She has them. Maybe they will make the blog. Maybe not. But the memory should.

Fun moments....
Getting lost.
Finding each other.
Discovering that you can not go the wrong way down a one way street.
Finding each other again.
Eating avocado rolls and portabello mushroom sandwiches on the Cheesecake Factory patio.
Watching Texans wear fur lined coats when it's 55 degrees outside.
Laughing.
Learning that my mom twitters.
Learning that my mom knows more about facebook than I do.
Realizing she has more facebook friends than I do.
Laughing, again.
Finding the hotel.
Checking in.
Hearing my mom ask me for the 4th time what time our conference started on Saturday.
We got a business rate.
Mom's a bad actress.
Laughing some more.
Realizing that my mom packs a small apartment up every time she travels.
Being thankful for this when I forgot my toothpaste.
And my razor.
And my shower cap.
Knowing that you never stop being a mom.
Feeling thankful.
Staying up too late.
Sleeping in too late.
Watching a Barbara Streisand movie together.
Talking about the changing role of women through the ages.
Learning that my mom was the BWU president at one point.
Remembering when she was going to start a pie making business.
Realizing that life is all about stages.
Wondering what 50 feels like.
Watching my mom feel comfortable in her own skin.
Loving that look.
Laughing.
Shopping, shopping, shopping.
Talking, talking, talking.
Having a snack in toys r us.
I just opened the bag and ate.
Mom tried to pay for hers.
We were starving.
Finding the Melting Pot.
Confusing the Garmin.
Taking 45 minutes to make a 2 minute trip.
Laughing.
Dressing in the parking lot.
Putting on trench coats to cover up shopping outfits.
Dinner at the Melting Pot.
Eating for 2 1/2 hours.
Feeling thankful for valet parking.
Falling asleep.
Waking up.
Talking.
Talking.
Talking.
Crying.
Laughing.
Being grateful.
Not wanting the trip to end.
Lunch at La Madeline's.
Wishing we had not eaten so much dinner.
Making plans to go the Melting Pot again.
Planning another trip.
Wishing time would stop.
Realizing that time would not stop.
Saying goodbye.
Loving.

Happy Birthday, Mama. Some things are even better without pictures.

We will Survive

This is my new theme song.

We have survived the stomach bug.

My favorite converstation from last week.

Sam: Mommy, what is wrong with my tummy?

Me: Samuel that stomach bug that was inside Reagan has crawled into your tummy and making your tummy feel icky.

Sam: Mom, we need to take this bug and put it in a tree. (after a long pause) And shoot it.

This kid cracks me up.

Every stinking one of us got it. Yuck.

But...we're better now. So, yeah for healthy days.

October has been insanely busy. Good, but busy. We've decided to slow things down a little for November.

I'll try to update with pictures this evening.

Samuel

This picture is from our first camping trip as a family. It was fun...and wet! It rained for a good part of our stay. The rain wasn't too bad until we were packing up in a flood of water. That I could skip on the next trip.

This is Sam on day two of our trip. I'm sure he's hunting something. Lately, he is always hunting something! Mostly birds.

"I want to stomp on their heads mama. Stomp with my foot." Hmmm...okay, son. I hope this is normal for little boys!

Big news in Sam's world...he is officially and without doubt (doesn't that sound official?) potty trained!!!! Yeah.

I thought about taking another potty shot...but really once you are potty trained you earn the right to dignity in that area. So, no more documentation of progress.

Moments to remember from this journey with Sam...

"I need to pee, Mom."

"Ok, let's go to the potty."

"No, Mom....I'm a boy. I pee outside."

....we have this conversation at least 3 times per day!!!

"Momma, I need to poop."

"Ok, Sam. Let's go to the potty"

...after several minutes sitting on the potty....

"Mom, my poop needs to cook a little longer. I better wait a while."

Yeah for potty training and an even bigger yeah for not buying diapers!!!!!!

Fun with Honey and Papa

Honey and Papa came to visit a few weeks ago and I didn't get a chance to blog some pictures. I think the smiles on Sam and Reagan's faces tell the story better than I can with words!

First Fruits Party

We had a Sunday School Fellowship at our home this weekend. It was a lot of fun to have everyone over and spend time laughing and talking and laughing some more. There were games of dominos, lots of girl talk, encouragment, and some great food!

When the party was in full swing and folks were all engrossed in their own conversations...I couldn't help thinking that this was all possible because of Jesus.

More than 2,000 years ago a little guy was born in a barn to two young people. Probably two scared young people. That little person was the very Son of God. And ultimately His sacrifice for us would mean that centuries later my house would be filled with people.

There was laughing and eating and encouraging and hugging. There was good conversation and fun words. Plans for girls nights out and talks of hunts that would happen this fall.

I had a great time Sunday night. I loved being in that place. I loved hearing people having a good time.

But...without Jesus...well, nothing would have happened. Without Jesus there would have been no party.

I think there is probably some pretty powerful truth in that last statement.

But, for now, I'm just grateful for community. I'm grateful for the Body of Christ and the part that I get to experience.

Because sometimes it's fun...sometimes it is a lot of fun!

Pumpkin Patch 2009

Our local pumpkin patch arrived on Monday. That's right...when you live in our part of Texas the pumpkin patch arrives via truck from North Carolina. Whatever. It was fun and we got some cute pictures of the kids.

This one cracks me up. I'm not sure what the kids are looking at...but all I can think is that we are doing a profile shot that can be used to track us down if we steal a few pumpkins!

We're here! We're here!

...but busy. Very busy!

Fun things happening around the Kenley Casa...

• Party planning - we're having a Sunday School Fellowship this week at our house and I'm trying to sort out the details. It's going to be so much fun, I think, or maybe mass chaos. We'll take pictures.
• First family camping trip during which we survived a monsoon!

and drumroll please.....

Samuel is potty trained!!!!! We are done!!!! This is the first week in 2 1/2 years that I did not buy him diapers! Praise God!

Hopefully, there will be some time for reflection and picture posting tonight....

Lunch Date with Husband

Wife: Do you think that we need to be more intentional in how we live?

Husband: Are you ok? Pass the salt, please.

Wife: I'm fine. I'm just wondering if we should think about being intentional. You know...like with planning our time and the kids and stuff.

Husband: What did you read this morning?

Wife: Nothing. I was just thinking. You know, wondering.

Husband: All this intentional living is what gets you in trouble. Let's be a little less intentional, ok?

Routines

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil” Ephesians 5:5-16

I've been thinking about planning lately. I make a lot of plans. I make daily plans, weekly plans, semester plans, yearly plans, life plans...you get the idea. I do this for myself and we do it as a family.

Sometimes I think about what this really means. I tell my clients that you often get what you expect. If you expect that you will fail, more than likely that is what you will get. It's a simple thought. I think some very well intentioned authors have tried to make this principle magical, but it's not.

What do I expect from my days? Today I'm in the office. Getting ready this morning was hectic. Making breakfast, packing lunches, brushing teeth...it can be a lot. Some days are bad. We are running. We get up late. I end up yelling. I wonder all day if I forgot to turn off the garage light. And then some days are pleasant. Sam wakes up on his own. Reagan has time to play in the floor. Breakfasts and lunches come together easily. What's the difference?

It's in the planning.

When I plan....when I put intention into my actions...my home is calmer. My life is more peaceful. My children are happier. I do not yell.

So...applying this thought...I wonder...

How do we need to be more intentional with our days?

At the beginning of each "season" we talk about what we want to do as a family. Right now we are talking holidays. What are we going to do? Where will we be? How will we spend our days?

So far...it's worked ok. But, we could do better.

What do we want to learn as a family? What do we want to work on?

Sunday Scott and I got to spend some time talking and we discussed evangelism. We talked about wanting to be more comfortable with sharing the gospel. We brainstormed ways to take what we were thinking about and turn it into action. For example, asking someone who is more comfortable with this type of ministry to go with us. We could learn by watching them. And we set a goal to do this in the spring.

Hmmm...that sounds weird. Learning to bolder in sharing the gospel is a good thing. My first thought is...let's do it now. How about tomorrow? Do you have time today?

But, then I hear the brakes go off in my head. We've already planned this semester. We are working on living out Titus 2. We've committed to that ministry. It's good, too. For everything there is a time.

Now things start to seem easier. But, the Holy Spirit can always move in ways that change our direction. Being sensitive to that voice and not the other voices in our heads that drive our own desires is difficult.

Routines are good. They help me construct my days. They help me accomplish goals. They can be good and they can be a hindrance to plans God has for me.

Sometimes we get it right...a lot of times we don't. But we keep going.

What works for you? How do you practice living intentionally within your family? With parenting? With growth? How do you create calm mornings and evenings? How do you get to church on time without forgetting to change the baby's diaper or brush the toddlers teeth? Heck, a few weeks ago we got to church and I'd forgotten Samuel's shoes. Baby steps...we need baby steps.

Success and Failure

I tried to upload some video, but I need to learn more about the software. So, that is a failure.

But....potty training is a success! Samuel is quickly picking this up. Yesterday was another dry day for us and he even had some serious business to do on the potty. Scott and I were screaming and high-fiving and overjoyed. Literally, overjoyed. We got so excited, Reagan wanted to try potty training. Just kidding. We bought some new Elmo underpants that are THE CUTEST things in the world. So...potty training is a success!

The other success...our party for friends. Josh and Katie drove in from Tennesse this weekend and we got to host them and more friends on Saturday night. We grilled up some yummy chicken and chased kiddos for a few hours. The kids can actually play together a little now. Sam and Brayden spent time hitting balls, chasing each other, and running. Madison and Reagan did girl things and Bryson just spent time looking cute. We took some great pictures and hopefully I'll be able to post them soon. It was fun to be able to catch up and visit, too. We have spent lots of evening together over the years and being with each other brought back some really good memories. God has really blessed our families and Saturday night we got to just enjoy those blessings. Fun, fun times. So...time with friends...a success!

Something isn't quite right...

We have tried...we've started...we've stopped. By we I really mean me.

Honey says last week: "I'm getting a potty watch for you"

Me: "oh, that will really help Sam be able to remember."

Honey: "No...the watch is for YOU!"

ok, I got it. Today was a totally dry day for us. How'd we do it? The old fashioned way. Every 30 minutes...it's off to the potty we go!

I think I've been waiting on the potty fairy to come and do this. We'll I can't wait for her to show up anymore.

So, we're in potty boot camp. We can do this! I can do this!

Permission to Speak

Permission to speak freely is a project by a woman named Anne Jackson. I don't know Anne Jackson. I have no idea what she believes or what her background is. But...

She asked the question below on her blog...flowerdust.net....and almost 500 people responded. She's now turning this idea into a book. It's a take on the post a secret idea.

what is something you feel you can’t say in church, or around other christians?
for example…mine would be, “sometimes i feel like i can’t share how i really feel inside.”
funny, serious, whatever…what’s yours?

Hmmm...what a great question! I like it.

My answer:

Sometimes I feel like people will always judge me for my past and it causes me to be defined by it. I think that makes God sad. I think He'd want me to be bolder in testifying of His grace and goodness.

And...

Sometimes I wish people would drop the fancy lingo and just be real. Just tell it like it is. Instead of being evasive I wish they would just speak honestly and directly. The truth is easier to deal with then all the lies we tell trying to avoid speaking it.

How would you answer this?

Joyful Living

"The joy of the Lord is rich and deep and causes anyone who walks in it to be likewise. That's because joy doesn't have anything to do with happy circumstances; it has to do with looking into the face of God and knowing He's all we'll ever need." - The Power of the Praying Parent

Great philosophers tell us that it's not suffering that makes us miserable rather it is our perception of suffering. Hmmm...deep. Real deep. And in some ways connected to the truths we know in God's word.

Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

What we choose to think about can affect our feelings and ultimately our behaviors. From a psychological perceptive, many great therapists use these principles as they listen and reflect with their clients.

From a mom perspective, how does what I choose to focus on manifest itself in my family?

One of the greatest things I have read lately came from CJ Mahaney. If you've read this blog for a while you know that I'm a great critic of the Mahaney's. I love to question...and often I post about what I'm struggling to understand. But, recently, I read something that has stuck with me.

Cultivating joy in the family. The Mahaney children wrote about how joyful their family was and ways that they intentionally enjoyed each other. I like that. I like that a lot.

When Sam and Reagan are old...when they are raising their own babies or pursuing their own paths...I'd like for them to say that we had a joyful family. I'd like to remember us enjoying each other.

And I want to do this in an intentional kind of way. It seems to be that whatever I intention...whatever I expect...has impact on the results that are achieved.

Cultivating joy in the family would mean...

• more patience
• more laughter
• more being silly together
• singing more songs
• playing more games
• living together more...cooking meals together...folding laundry together...cleaning out the garage together
• praying more - less tradition and more talking with God

I like these thoughts. I like where it could lead our family.

It occurs to me that we are often together, but still separate. Each member doing their own thing. This is ok, but it can lead to a place where we can hide from each other. Involved in our own tasks and really enjoying the time that we share.

So...here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to start asking myself this question in the moment - "Am I intentionally loving my family right now?" and I'm going to see what happens.

I have a feeling that as a family we'll be experiencing even more joy!

...and even more thoughts...

As I re-read this post, it occurs to me that I rarely talk about my own childhood. There was a lot of joy in my house growing up. It's not like reading about the Mahaney household suddenly turned on the light for me. Nope, just helped frame and recall things I've lived. And maybe helped to paint these experiences in a brighter light.

So...for Sam and Reagan....a story.

One of the happiest memories I have involved a sudden snow and ice storm and cancelled school. Where I grew up winters were cold and snow happened often, but usually didn't stick around too long. One winter when I was probably 9 or 10 years we had a big storm. Snow fell on top of ice and things shut down for a few days. Papa had gotten a gray snow sled for Aunt Jodie and me. It had a brake on it and everything and we'd spent lots of days riding it down the hill in our backyard. On this day...Papa and Honey had an even better idea.

We all buddled up and headed out to the country. This was a 3 minute drive from our house. We found a pretty isolated road and Papa hooked the sled up to his pick up truck. Honey walked beside along the road and Papa pulled us in the truck. It was a BLAST! We laughed so hard and had so much fun. We'd ride together and Aunt Jodie sat in front of me. We had on so many layers of clothing that it was hard to move!

Now, it's a wonder we didn't get ourselves killed! Maybe not the brightest idea, but we didn't see another car that day and it felt like we were having more fun than any other kid in the entire world!

First time to brush teeth

First things first. Check out these curls! Reagan's hair gets curlier every day! I love it.

She has three teeth and we've started brushing them morning and night. She thought she was a big kid when she got a toothbrush just like Sam.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Reagan. When she likes something she literally lights up! Look how excited that she is to have joined the rest of the world in practicing good oral hygiene!!!

When Reagan's personality was first beginning to show, Scott and I would almost daily mention how good natured she was. She would just smile and smile. We were convinced that she was going to be the most laid back kid ever. Hmmm...ok...we were wrong. Turns out that behind that sweet grin my sweet daughter was just plotting her takeover of our house.

As proof of this, see below as she tries to help Sam brush his teeth. She chased her brother all over the house trying to get that toothbrush! When he would tell her to stop...she'd look at him and say "no, no, no!"

Oh well...they have many more years of torturing each other!

A Full Cart

Soccer

These pictures are not in order, but they do showcase our soccer fun today. Sam's participating in a soccer program this fall. He was really excited about it and due to some unforseen situations Daddy was able to be with us.

This picture was taken after we finished. Sam is telling me how much he liked soccer!


Each week he earns a patch to put on his soccer t-shirt.


A detour from soccer. After we played we went to the nearby park with some friends. Reagan LOVES to swing and Sam took a turn pushing her. Check out our ponytail....Adoreable!

Doing stretches...it's was basically organized chaos, but the kids seemed to like it. Coach Lisa is the one in purple. She organizes everything and seems to be great with the kids. I think we are really going to like her.

Reagan in the cheap seats with a snack.

I think we are going to love soccer this fall. It's something new to try out. It's fun to watch Samuel be able to do more things. My baby is becoming a big kid fast!

Want to arm wrestle with me?

I like conversation. I like asking questions. I like wrestling with hard subjects.

For the last few weeks, I've been arm wrestling with biblical womanhood. Big topic. Big ideas. Some good. Some not so good.

How can biblical womanhood be bad?

You might be asking that.

I know I was. And I am.

A detour first.

Perhaps the greatest area of growth in my life has been changing my approach to hard subjects.

In my early twenties, I was a fighter. I had my battle gear on all the time.

In my early thirties, I am a ponderer. Now, I have my battle gear neatly tucked, but easily accessible in my closet.

So, as I give my thoughts life on this blog...I'm still pondering. I'm still wrestling. I don't have the answers. If you do...let's talk. I want to talk. I'll listen. and maybe we'll both learn.

Being the woman God has designed in me is good.

Following scripture is good.

But the MOVEMENT of biblical womanhood has taken on a different kind of life. A different kind of feel. It's taken scripture and created a cause.

Can biblical womanhood...the movement of biblical womanhood...be allowing legalism to seep into our lives?

Are we creating new boxes to check off? New ideas of "perfection" to strive for?

Oh the choir of voices in my head starts singing...

Lots of opinions.

Lots of words.

What do you think? What's good about biblical womanhood? What's not? How are we supporting the community? Could this just be a way to tear it down?

hmm...

I have some ideas. But it's hard to translate. Hard to put into words the language that I see spoken among women that uses no words.

I'm not ready to jump on the bandwagen. I am not ready to go into battle, yet.

A few months ago I was given a book by Debi Pearl. It's entitled "To Train Up a Child."

I read it.

And then I wanted to vomit.

In her book she encourages parents to follow God's way of training children. Using the rod.

She tells her faithful following very specific guidelines to use when selecting a rod going into detail about the length it should be...how big it should be.

She challenges us to having training sessions with our children.

One technique involves putting something the child desires in front of him. Tell him that he is not to touch it. When he does, firmly smack his hand with the rod. Continue this until the behavior stops.

This is a training session. It's not punishment. It's training.

Oh-kay.

Ok...here's the part that I can take away from Pearl's work. We should be training our children. Good behavior should be taught. This can't take the form of just punishment. We need to be encouraging our children and giving specific instructions to them about what is expected from them.

But...

Sometimes I think parents love spanking.

Really love it.

I think we can take pride it.

Whenever I'm with a group of moms and this subject come us, I'm dumbfounded. Almost always there is a chorus of sharing who spanks. Even as I type this, I should be clear. Scott and I spank our children. Well, Samuel. Reagan is...well...too little. But, when Sam reached a point that we knew he was doing things in open deviance...we began spanking him.

But - we don't always spank. Right now what is more effective is the "naughty spot." Our version of time out. Sam hates this and it works well to correct his behavior. It also allows him to literally 'take a break' from what he's doing. It's effective for him developmentally.

According to Perl, we should always spank. It's the form of correction God chooses. It clearly says so in the word, right?

Proverbs 13:24 "He who spares the rod hates his child, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."

hmm...not so fast. Rod has multiple meanings and when it means that we should beat each other it's usually preceeded with a. In this text rod is metaphorical for discipline in general.

Spankings, time outs, etc are all included.

And I find myself going back to Perl. Perhaps I'm so offended by her instructions to parents because well meaning and good intentioned parents could inflict great physical and emotional harm onto their children if they took these instructions literally. And parents who choose not always spank could feel as though they are not fully submitting their disciplining techniques to God.

And all of this, I'm sure, is affected by my world view. I sit across from a lot of 20 something's and listen to them recall the experiences of childhood.

All in all...I see a lot of judgment. I wonder if this is what God had in mind.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm not seeing the obvious. Maybe I'm overthinking this.

Biblical womanhood...like all things...should be tested. Should be questioned. And since this movement is created by people...we should not read it/believe it/use it as though it were scripture.

At least that's what I think right now!

Fun in September

There have been a lot of 'blog worthy' moments this September. Below is a random collection of pictures.

Sam LOVES bouncy toys and, thankfully for us, there is a place in town where he can jump until he falls over with exhaustion. He's doing more and more on his own. In this picture he's going down the big slide.


A mini portrait session with Reagan at 8 months.



I love this picture! Sam picked his clothes on this day and insisted that he wear his fishing hat (it has sharks on it) everywhere we went!

Our first video

Reagan and Momma

Flat Tire

Any one else having problems getting pictures to upload correctly on blogger!!!!!??????!!!!!  I officially want to pull my hair out.  I've deleted most of the pics I uploaded and they are all out of order!!!!  grrrr!!!!!!

Over labor day we took a trip to Oklahoma and had a flat tire on the way.  Good thing Scott was with us and could change it.