Wife: Do you think that we need to be more intentional in how we live?
Husband: Are you ok? Pass the salt, please.
Wife: I'm fine. I'm just wondering if we should think about being intentional. You know...like with planning our time and the kids and stuff.
Husband: What did you read this morning?
Wife: Nothing. I was just thinking. You know, wondering.
Husband: All this intentional living is what gets you in trouble. Let's be a little less intentional, ok?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Routines
“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil” Ephesians 5:5-16
I've been thinking about planning lately. I make a lot of plans. I make daily plans, weekly plans, semester plans, yearly plans, life plans...you get the idea. I do this for myself and we do it as a family.
Sometimes I think about what this really means. I tell my clients that you often get what you expect. If you expect that you will fail, more than likely that is what you will get. It's a simple thought. I think some very well intentioned authors have tried to make this principle magical, but it's not.
What do I expect from my days? Today I'm in the office. Getting ready this morning was hectic. Making breakfast, packing lunches, brushing teeth...it can be a lot. Some days are bad. We are running. We get up late. I end up yelling. I wonder all day if I forgot to turn off the garage light. And then some days are pleasant. Sam wakes up on his own. Reagan has time to play in the floor. Breakfasts and lunches come together easily. What's the difference?
It's in the planning.
When I plan....when I put intention into my actions...my home is calmer. My life is more peaceful. My children are happier. I do not yell.
So...applying this thought...I wonder...
How do we need to be more intentional with our days?
At the beginning of each "season" we talk about what we want to do as a family. Right now we are talking holidays. What are we going to do? Where will we be? How will we spend our days?
So far...it's worked ok. But, we could do better.
What do we want to learn as a family? What do we want to work on?
Sunday Scott and I got to spend some time talking and we discussed evangelism. We talked about wanting to be more comfortable with sharing the gospel. We brainstormed ways to take what we were thinking about and turn it into action. For example, asking someone who is more comfortable with this type of ministry to go with us. We could learn by watching them. And we set a goal to do this in the spring.
Hmmm...that sounds weird. Learning to bolder in sharing the gospel is a good thing. My first thought is...let's do it now. How about tomorrow? Do you have time today?
But, then I hear the brakes go off in my head. We've already planned this semester. We are working on living out Titus 2. We've committed to that ministry. It's good, too. For everything there is a time.
Now things start to seem easier. But, the Holy Spirit can always move in ways that change our direction. Being sensitive to that voice and not the other voices in our heads that drive our own desires is difficult.
Routines are good. They help me construct my days. They help me accomplish goals. They can be good and they can be a hindrance to plans God has for me.
Sometimes we get it right...a lot of times we don't. But we keep going.
What works for you? How do you practice living intentionally within your family? With parenting? With growth? How do you create calm mornings and evenings? How do you get to church on time without forgetting to change the baby's diaper or brush the toddlers teeth? Heck, a few weeks ago we got to church and I'd forgotten Samuel's shoes. Baby steps...we need baby steps.
I've been thinking about planning lately. I make a lot of plans. I make daily plans, weekly plans, semester plans, yearly plans, life plans...you get the idea. I do this for myself and we do it as a family.
Sometimes I think about what this really means. I tell my clients that you often get what you expect. If you expect that you will fail, more than likely that is what you will get. It's a simple thought. I think some very well intentioned authors have tried to make this principle magical, but it's not.
What do I expect from my days? Today I'm in the office. Getting ready this morning was hectic. Making breakfast, packing lunches, brushing teeth...it can be a lot. Some days are bad. We are running. We get up late. I end up yelling. I wonder all day if I forgot to turn off the garage light. And then some days are pleasant. Sam wakes up on his own. Reagan has time to play in the floor. Breakfasts and lunches come together easily. What's the difference?
It's in the planning.
When I plan....when I put intention into my actions...my home is calmer. My life is more peaceful. My children are happier. I do not yell.
So...applying this thought...I wonder...
How do we need to be more intentional with our days?
At the beginning of each "season" we talk about what we want to do as a family. Right now we are talking holidays. What are we going to do? Where will we be? How will we spend our days?
So far...it's worked ok. But, we could do better.
What do we want to learn as a family? What do we want to work on?
Sunday Scott and I got to spend some time talking and we discussed evangelism. We talked about wanting to be more comfortable with sharing the gospel. We brainstormed ways to take what we were thinking about and turn it into action. For example, asking someone who is more comfortable with this type of ministry to go with us. We could learn by watching them. And we set a goal to do this in the spring.
Hmmm...that sounds weird. Learning to bolder in sharing the gospel is a good thing. My first thought is...let's do it now. How about tomorrow? Do you have time today?
But, then I hear the brakes go off in my head. We've already planned this semester. We are working on living out Titus 2. We've committed to that ministry. It's good, too. For everything there is a time.
Now things start to seem easier. But, the Holy Spirit can always move in ways that change our direction. Being sensitive to that voice and not the other voices in our heads that drive our own desires is difficult.
Routines are good. They help me construct my days. They help me accomplish goals. They can be good and they can be a hindrance to plans God has for me.
Sometimes we get it right...a lot of times we don't. But we keep going.
What works for you? How do you practice living intentionally within your family? With parenting? With growth? How do you create calm mornings and evenings? How do you get to church on time without forgetting to change the baby's diaper or brush the toddlers teeth? Heck, a few weeks ago we got to church and I'd forgotten Samuel's shoes. Baby steps...we need baby steps.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Success and Failure
I tried to upload some video, but I need to learn more about the software. So, that is a failure.
But....potty training is a success! Samuel is quickly picking this up. Yesterday was another dry day for us and he even had some serious business to do on the potty. Scott and I were screaming and high-fiving and overjoyed. Literally, overjoyed. We got so excited, Reagan wanted to try potty training. Just kidding. We bought some new Elmo underpants that are THE CUTEST things in the world. So...potty training is a success!
But....potty training is a success! Samuel is quickly picking this up. Yesterday was another dry day for us and he even had some serious business to do on the potty. Scott and I were screaming and high-fiving and overjoyed. Literally, overjoyed. We got so excited, Reagan wanted to try potty training. Just kidding. We bought some new Elmo underpants that are THE CUTEST things in the world. So...potty training is a success!
The other success...our party for friends. Josh and Katie drove in from Tennesse this weekend and we got to host them and more friends on Saturday night. We grilled up some yummy chicken and chased kiddos for a few hours. The kids can actually play together a little now. Sam and Brayden spent time hitting balls, chasing each other, and running. Madison and Reagan did girl things and Bryson just spent time looking cute. We took some great pictures and hopefully I'll be able to post them soon. It was fun to be able to catch up and visit, too. We have spent lots of evening together over the years and being with each other brought back some really good memories. God has really blessed our families and Saturday night we got to just enjoy those blessings. Fun, fun times. So...time with friends...a success!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Something isn't quite right...
We have tried...we've started...we've stopped. By we I really mean me.
Honey says last week: "I'm getting a potty watch for you"
Me: "oh, that will really help Sam be able to remember."
Honey: "No...the watch is for YOU!"
ok, I got it. Today was a totally dry day for us. How'd we do it? The old fashioned way. Every 30 minutes...it's off to the potty we go!
I think I've been waiting on the potty fairy to come and do this. We'll I can't wait for her to show up anymore.
So, we're in potty boot camp. We can do this! I can do this!
Permission to Speak
Permission to speak freely is a project by a woman named Anne Jackson. I don't know Anne Jackson. I have no idea what she believes or what her background is. But...
She asked the question below on her blog...flowerdust.net....and almost 500 people responded. She's now turning this idea into a book. It's a take on the post a secret idea.
what is something you feel you can’t say in church, or around other christians?
for example…mine would be, “sometimes i feel like i can’t share how i really feel inside.”
funny, serious, whatever…what’s yours?
Hmmm...what a great question! I like it.
My answer:
Sometimes I feel like people will always judge me for my past and it causes me to be defined by it. I think that makes God sad. I think He'd want me to be bolder in testifying of His grace and goodness.
And...
Sometimes I wish people would drop the fancy lingo and just be real. Just tell it like it is. Instead of being evasive I wish they would just speak honestly and directly. The truth is easier to deal with then all the lies we tell trying to avoid speaking it.
How would you answer this?
She asked the question below on her blog...flowerdust.net....and almost 500 people responded. She's now turning this idea into a book. It's a take on the post a secret idea.
what is something you feel you can’t say in church, or around other christians?
for example…mine would be, “sometimes i feel like i can’t share how i really feel inside.”
funny, serious, whatever…what’s yours?
Hmmm...what a great question! I like it.
My answer:
Sometimes I feel like people will always judge me for my past and it causes me to be defined by it. I think that makes God sad. I think He'd want me to be bolder in testifying of His grace and goodness.
And...
Sometimes I wish people would drop the fancy lingo and just be real. Just tell it like it is. Instead of being evasive I wish they would just speak honestly and directly. The truth is easier to deal with then all the lies we tell trying to avoid speaking it.
How would you answer this?
Joyful Living
"The joy of the Lord is rich and deep and causes anyone who walks in it to be likewise. That's because joy doesn't have anything to do with happy circumstances; it has to do with looking into the face of God and knowing He's all we'll ever need." - The Power of the Praying Parent
Great philosophers tell us that it's not suffering that makes us miserable rather it is our perception of suffering. Hmmm...deep. Real deep. And in some ways connected to the truths we know in God's word.
Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
What we choose to think about can affect our feelings and ultimately our behaviors. From a psychological perceptive, many great therapists use these principles as they listen and reflect with their clients.
From a mom perspective, how does what I choose to focus on manifest itself in my family?
One of the greatest things I have read lately came from CJ Mahaney. If you've read this blog for a while you know that I'm a great critic of the Mahaney's. I love to question...and often I post about what I'm struggling to understand. But, recently, I read something that has stuck with me.
Cultivating joy in the family. The Mahaney children wrote about how joyful their family was and ways that they intentionally enjoyed each other. I like that. I like that a lot.
When Sam and Reagan are old...when they are raising their own babies or pursuing their own paths...I'd like for them to say that we had a joyful family. I'd like to remember us enjoying each other.
And I want to do this in an intentional kind of way. It seems to be that whatever I intention...whatever I expect...has impact on the results that are achieved.
Cultivating joy in the family would mean...
Great philosophers tell us that it's not suffering that makes us miserable rather it is our perception of suffering. Hmmm...deep. Real deep. And in some ways connected to the truths we know in God's word.
Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
What we choose to think about can affect our feelings and ultimately our behaviors. From a psychological perceptive, many great therapists use these principles as they listen and reflect with their clients.
From a mom perspective, how does what I choose to focus on manifest itself in my family?
One of the greatest things I have read lately came from CJ Mahaney. If you've read this blog for a while you know that I'm a great critic of the Mahaney's. I love to question...and often I post about what I'm struggling to understand. But, recently, I read something that has stuck with me.
Cultivating joy in the family. The Mahaney children wrote about how joyful their family was and ways that they intentionally enjoyed each other. I like that. I like that a lot.
When Sam and Reagan are old...when they are raising their own babies or pursuing their own paths...I'd like for them to say that we had a joyful family. I'd like to remember us enjoying each other.
And I want to do this in an intentional kind of way. It seems to be that whatever I intention...whatever I expect...has impact on the results that are achieved.
Cultivating joy in the family would mean...
- more patience
- more laughter
- more being silly together
- singing more songs
- playing more games
- living together more...cooking meals together...folding laundry together...cleaning out the garage together
- praying more - less tradition and more talking with God
I like these thoughts. I like where it could lead our family.
It occurs to me that we are often together, but still separate. Each member doing their own thing. This is ok, but it can lead to a place where we can hide from each other. Involved in our own tasks and really enjoying the time that we share.
So...here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to start asking myself this question in the moment - "Am I intentionally loving my family right now?" and I'm going to see what happens.
I have a feeling that as a family we'll be experiencing even more joy!
...and even more thoughts...
As I re-read this post, it occurs to me that I rarely talk about my own childhood. There was a lot of joy in my house growing up. It's not like reading about the Mahaney household suddenly turned on the light for me. Nope, just helped frame and recall things I've lived. And maybe helped to paint these experiences in a brighter light.
So...for Sam and Reagan....a story.
One of the happiest memories I have involved a sudden snow and ice storm and cancelled school. Where I grew up winters were cold and snow happened often, but usually didn't stick around too long. One winter when I was probably 9 or 10 years we had a big storm. Snow fell on top of ice and things shut down for a few days. Papa had gotten a gray snow sled for Aunt Jodie and me. It had a brake on it and everything and we'd spent lots of days riding it down the hill in our backyard. On this day...Papa and Honey had an even better idea.
We all buddled up and headed out to the country. This was a 3 minute drive from our house. We found a pretty isolated road and Papa hooked the sled up to his pick up truck. Honey walked beside along the road and Papa pulled us in the truck. It was a BLAST! We laughed so hard and had so much fun. We'd ride together and Aunt Jodie sat in front of me. We had on so many layers of clothing that it was hard to move!
Now, it's a wonder we didn't get ourselves killed! Maybe not the brightest idea, but we didn't see another car that day and it felt like we were having more fun than any other kid in the entire world!
Monday, September 21, 2009
First time to brush teeth
First things first. Check out these curls! Reagan's hair gets curlier every day! I love it.
She has three teeth and we've started brushing them morning and night. She thought she was a big kid when she got a toothbrush just like Sam.
She has three teeth and we've started brushing them morning and night. She thought she was a big kid when she got a toothbrush just like Sam.
This is one of my favorite pictures of Reagan. When she likes something she literally lights up! Look how excited that she is to have joined the rest of the world in practicing good oral hygiene!!!
When Reagan's personality was first beginning to show, Scott and I would almost daily mention how good natured she was. She would just smile and smile. We were convinced that she was going to be the most laid back kid ever. Hmmm...ok...we were wrong. Turns out that behind that sweet grin my sweet daughter was just plotting her takeover of our house. 
Oh well...they have many more years of torturing each other!
When Reagan's personality was first beginning to show, Scott and I would almost daily mention how good natured she was. She would just smile and smile. We were convinced that she was going to be the most laid back kid ever. Hmmm...ok...we were wrong. Turns out that behind that sweet grin my sweet daughter was just plotting her takeover of our house.
As proof of this, see below as she tries to help Sam brush his teeth. She chased her brother all over the house trying to get that toothbrush! When he would tell her to stop...she'd look at him and say "no, no, no!"
Oh well...they have many more years of torturing each other!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Soccer
These pictures are not in order, but they do showcase our soccer fun today. Sam's participating in a soccer program this fall. He was really excited about it and due to some unforseen situations Daddy was able to be with us.
This picture was taken after we finished. Sam is telling me how much he liked soccer!
Each week he earns a patch to put on his soccer t-shirt.
A detour from soccer. After we played we went to the nearby park with some friends. Reagan LOVES to swing and Sam took a turn pushing her. Check out our ponytail....Adoreable!
Doing stretches...it's was basically organized chaos, but the kids seemed to like it. Coach Lisa is the one in purple. She organizes everything and seems to be great with the kids. I think we are really going to like her.
Reagan in the cheap seats with a snack.
This picture was taken after we finished. Sam is telling me how much he liked soccer!
Each week he earns a patch to put on his soccer t-shirt.
A detour from soccer. After we played we went to the nearby park with some friends. Reagan LOVES to swing and Sam took a turn pushing her. Check out our ponytail....Adoreable!
Doing stretches...it's was basically organized chaos, but the kids seemed to like it. Coach Lisa is the one in purple. She organizes everything and seems to be great with the kids. I think we are really going to like her.
Reagan in the cheap seats with a snack.
I think we are going to love soccer this fall. It's something new to try out. It's fun to watch Samuel be able to do more things. My baby is becoming a big kid fast!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Want to arm wrestle with me?
I like conversation. I like asking questions. I like wrestling with hard subjects.
For the last few weeks, I've been arm wrestling with biblical womanhood. Big topic. Big ideas. Some good. Some not so good.
How can biblical womanhood be bad?
You might be asking that.
I know I was. And I am.
A detour first.
Perhaps the greatest area of growth in my life has been changing my approach to hard subjects.
In my early twenties, I was a fighter. I had my battle gear on all the time.
In my early thirties, I am a ponderer. Now, I have my battle gear neatly tucked, but easily accessible in my closet.
So, as I give my thoughts life on this blog...I'm still pondering. I'm still wrestling. I don't have the answers. If you do...let's talk. I want to talk. I'll listen. and maybe we'll both learn.
Being the woman God has designed in me is good.
Following scripture is good.
But the MOVEMENT of biblical womanhood has taken on a different kind of life. A different kind of feel. It's taken scripture and created a cause.
Can biblical womanhood...the movement of biblical womanhood...be allowing legalism to seep into our lives?
Are we creating new boxes to check off? New ideas of "perfection" to strive for?
Oh the choir of voices in my head starts singing...
Lots of opinions.
Lots of words.
What do you think? What's good about biblical womanhood? What's not? How are we supporting the community? Could this just be a way to tear it down?
hmm...
I have some ideas. But it's hard to translate. Hard to put into words the language that I see spoken among women that uses no words.
I'm not ready to jump on the bandwagen. I am not ready to go into battle, yet.
A few months ago I was given a book by Debi Pearl. It's entitled "To Train Up a Child."
I read it.
And then I wanted to vomit.
In her book she encourages parents to follow God's way of training children. Using the rod.
She tells her faithful following very specific guidelines to use when selecting a rod going into detail about the length it should be...how big it should be.
She challenges us to having training sessions with our children.
One technique involves putting something the child desires in front of him. Tell him that he is not to touch it. When he does, firmly smack his hand with the rod. Continue this until the behavior stops.
This is a training session. It's not punishment. It's training.
Oh-kay.
Ok...here's the part that I can take away from Pearl's work. We should be training our children. Good behavior should be taught. This can't take the form of just punishment. We need to be encouraging our children and giving specific instructions to them about what is expected from them.
But...
Sometimes I think parents love spanking.
Really love it.
I think we can take pride it.
Whenever I'm with a group of moms and this subject come us, I'm dumbfounded. Almost always there is a chorus of sharing who spanks. Even as I type this, I should be clear. Scott and I spank our children. Well, Samuel. Reagan is...well...too little. But, when Sam reached a point that we knew he was doing things in open deviance...we began spanking him.
But - we don't always spank. Right now what is more effective is the "naughty spot." Our version of time out. Sam hates this and it works well to correct his behavior. It also allows him to literally 'take a break' from what he's doing. It's effective for him developmentally.
According to Perl, we should always spank. It's the form of correction God chooses. It clearly says so in the word, right?
Proverbs 13:24 "He who spares the rod hates his child, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."
hmm...not so fast. Rod has multiple meanings and when it means that we should beat each other it's usually preceeded with a. In this text rod is metaphorical for discipline in general.
Spankings, time outs, etc are all included.
And I find myself going back to Perl. Perhaps I'm so offended by her instructions to parents because well meaning and good intentioned parents could inflict great physical and emotional harm onto their children if they took these instructions literally. And parents who choose not always spank could feel as though they are not fully submitting their disciplining techniques to God.
And all of this, I'm sure, is affected by my world view. I sit across from a lot of 20 something's and listen to them recall the experiences of childhood.
All in all...I see a lot of judgment. I wonder if this is what God had in mind.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm not seeing the obvious. Maybe I'm overthinking this.
Biblical womanhood...like all things...should be tested. Should be questioned. And since this movement is created by people...we should not read it/believe it/use it as though it were scripture.
At least that's what I think right now!
For the last few weeks, I've been arm wrestling with biblical womanhood. Big topic. Big ideas. Some good. Some not so good.
How can biblical womanhood be bad?
You might be asking that.
I know I was. And I am.
A detour first.
Perhaps the greatest area of growth in my life has been changing my approach to hard subjects.
In my early twenties, I was a fighter. I had my battle gear on all the time.
In my early thirties, I am a ponderer. Now, I have my battle gear neatly tucked, but easily accessible in my closet.
So, as I give my thoughts life on this blog...I'm still pondering. I'm still wrestling. I don't have the answers. If you do...let's talk. I want to talk. I'll listen. and maybe we'll both learn.
Being the woman God has designed in me is good.
Following scripture is good.
But the MOVEMENT of biblical womanhood has taken on a different kind of life. A different kind of feel. It's taken scripture and created a cause.
Can biblical womanhood...the movement of biblical womanhood...be allowing legalism to seep into our lives?
Are we creating new boxes to check off? New ideas of "perfection" to strive for?
Oh the choir of voices in my head starts singing...
Lots of opinions.
Lots of words.
What do you think? What's good about biblical womanhood? What's not? How are we supporting the community? Could this just be a way to tear it down?
hmm...
I have some ideas. But it's hard to translate. Hard to put into words the language that I see spoken among women that uses no words.
I'm not ready to jump on the bandwagen. I am not ready to go into battle, yet.
A few months ago I was given a book by Debi Pearl. It's entitled "To Train Up a Child."
I read it.
And then I wanted to vomit.
In her book she encourages parents to follow God's way of training children. Using the rod.
She tells her faithful following very specific guidelines to use when selecting a rod going into detail about the length it should be...how big it should be.
She challenges us to having training sessions with our children.
One technique involves putting something the child desires in front of him. Tell him that he is not to touch it. When he does, firmly smack his hand with the rod. Continue this until the behavior stops.
This is a training session. It's not punishment. It's training.
Oh-kay.
Ok...here's the part that I can take away from Pearl's work. We should be training our children. Good behavior should be taught. This can't take the form of just punishment. We need to be encouraging our children and giving specific instructions to them about what is expected from them.
But...
Sometimes I think parents love spanking.
Really love it.
I think we can take pride it.
Whenever I'm with a group of moms and this subject come us, I'm dumbfounded. Almost always there is a chorus of sharing who spanks. Even as I type this, I should be clear. Scott and I spank our children. Well, Samuel. Reagan is...well...too little. But, when Sam reached a point that we knew he was doing things in open deviance...we began spanking him.
But - we don't always spank. Right now what is more effective is the "naughty spot." Our version of time out. Sam hates this and it works well to correct his behavior. It also allows him to literally 'take a break' from what he's doing. It's effective for him developmentally.
According to Perl, we should always spank. It's the form of correction God chooses. It clearly says so in the word, right?
Proverbs 13:24 "He who spares the rod hates his child, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."
hmm...not so fast. Rod has multiple meanings and when it means that we should beat each other it's usually preceeded with a. In this text rod is metaphorical for discipline in general.
Spankings, time outs, etc are all included.
And I find myself going back to Perl. Perhaps I'm so offended by her instructions to parents because well meaning and good intentioned parents could inflict great physical and emotional harm onto their children if they took these instructions literally. And parents who choose not always spank could feel as though they are not fully submitting their disciplining techniques to God.
And all of this, I'm sure, is affected by my world view. I sit across from a lot of 20 something's and listen to them recall the experiences of childhood.
All in all...I see a lot of judgment. I wonder if this is what God had in mind.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm not seeing the obvious. Maybe I'm overthinking this.
Biblical womanhood...like all things...should be tested. Should be questioned. And since this movement is created by people...we should not read it/believe it/use it as though it were scripture.
At least that's what I think right now!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Fun in September
There have been a lot of 'blog worthy' moments this September. Below is a random collection of pictures.
Sam LOVES bouncy toys and, thankfully for us, there is a place in town where he can jump until he falls over with exhaustion. He's doing more and more on his own. In this picture he's going down the big slide.
A mini portrait session with Reagan at 8 months.
I love this picture! Sam picked his clothes on this day and insisted that he wear his fishing hat (it has sharks on it) everywhere we went!
Sam LOVES bouncy toys and, thankfully for us, there is a place in town where he can jump until he falls over with exhaustion. He's doing more and more on his own. In this picture he's going down the big slide.
A mini portrait session with Reagan at 8 months.
I love this picture! Sam picked his clothes on this day and insisted that he wear his fishing hat (it has sharks on it) everywhere we went!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Flat Tire
Any one else having problems getting pictures to upload correctly on blogger!!!!!??????!!!!! I officially want to pull my hair out. I've deleted most of the pics I uploaded and they are all out of order!!!! grrrr!!!!!!
Over labor day we took a trip to Oklahoma and had a flat tire on the way. Good thing Scott was with us and could change it. 
Sam's Prayer
Sam: I don't want to pray tonight Mommy.
Me: Sam, I want to pray. I want to thank God for all that we've experienced today. And I want to thank Him for you and Reagan and for keeping Daddy safe while he's hunting.
Me: Thank you God for Sam and Reagan. Thank you for keeping Daddy safe while hunting. Amen
Sam: Mom, I want to pray.
Me: Feeling all super wise and spiritual. Thoughts going through my mind...Isn't this wonderful? My kids learning to talk to God...What a beautiful experience.
Sam: Dear God, thank you for hunting. Amen.
Hmmm...ok...not exactly what I had in mind!
Me: Sam, I want to pray. I want to thank God for all that we've experienced today. And I want to thank Him for you and Reagan and for keeping Daddy safe while he's hunting.
Me: Thank you God for Sam and Reagan. Thank you for keeping Daddy safe while hunting. Amen
Sam: Mom, I want to pray.
Me: Feeling all super wise and spiritual. Thoughts going through my mind...Isn't this wonderful? My kids learning to talk to God...What a beautiful experience.
Sam: Dear God, thank you for hunting. Amen.
Hmmm...ok...not exactly what I had in mind!
Single Mom: Day 3
Scott has officially been on his man trip for 3 days. I talked to him briefly this afternoon. They killed 30 geese this morning. To quote him "best hunt of my life!" In short, he's having a blast.
And...
I am, too!
I wasn't so sure about being without him for 8 days. But, the kids have been WONDERFUL! We've played and played. Bedtime is usually when we struggle the most, but Sam has been following directions well and keeping his listening ears turned on! Reagan does not struggle with bedtime. At 8:00 she's either asleep in her crib or asleep on my shoulder.
Sunday afternoon we met Kristin and Maddison at the Bounce. The kids loved running around and Sam was EXHAUSTED when we got home. Reagan really took to Kristin and gave lots of hugs.
Last night we went for a walk with the Ruples. Sam played with Jason for a little while and it was nice to get to chat with Courtney as we walked the babies. I'm even more thankful for friends this week. Knowing that I'm not alone is very good.
So...while I wouldn't want to do this solo gig all the time....this week it's ok. Even good. :)
And...
I am, too!
I wasn't so sure about being without him for 8 days. But, the kids have been WONDERFUL! We've played and played. Bedtime is usually when we struggle the most, but Sam has been following directions well and keeping his listening ears turned on! Reagan does not struggle with bedtime. At 8:00 she's either asleep in her crib or asleep on my shoulder.
Sunday afternoon we met Kristin and Maddison at the Bounce. The kids loved running around and Sam was EXHAUSTED when we got home. Reagan really took to Kristin and gave lots of hugs.
Last night we went for a walk with the Ruples. Sam played with Jason for a little while and it was nice to get to chat with Courtney as we walked the babies. I'm even more thankful for friends this week. Knowing that I'm not alone is very good.
So...while I wouldn't want to do this solo gig all the time....this week it's ok. Even good. :)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Bowling for New York Firefighters
To remember those who gave their lives on 9/11/01 and to get in a little family fun, we spent the evening bowling to raise money for some New York City firefighters. The group that we raised money for actually saved the lives of some friends we know. Crazy, huh?
This was Samuel's first time to bowl. He really liked it and I was surprised by how much fun he had. He's getting big enough to do so many different things. It just seems like each stage of life brings something new and exciting.
We were suppose to bowl 3 games, but none of us had an attention span that long!
All in all, a great night of fun! Good memories!
Hunting Season 2009
Lots of happy faces around the Kenley Casa today. It's officially the eve of our start of hunting season 2009. Our house looks like an explosion of camo...if you can even find our house right now. I've noticed people all morning driving by and looking as if our home has disappeared. We've got so much camo out we are literally blending into the landscape. Our own version of Harry Potter's wizard-like skills. Ok, maybe not quite like that.
Tomorrow Scott boards a jet plane that will carry him to the ducks...or geece...or wild game. Bottom line...it will carry him to something that he will attempt to kill. He'll be in heaven.
Now, how do I break it to that cute little two year old that he's not going.
I think we have some confusion about that last fact.
It's Baaaaaacccccckkkkkk!!!!
My computer is fixed!
I know what you're thinking. Her computer? Didn't she just get that computer? About two weeks ago?
The answer is yes to all of the above questions.
It's true. I can admit it.
I, Jenny Kenley, friend to all things chocolate, singer in the shower...
I....officially and without doubt....
CRASHED my personal computer about 5 days after purchase.
It's been officially submitted to the great "they" that deal with all things computers.
Folks, I couldn't believe it.
I thought I had bought a dud.
Turns out...you must have anti-virus software on your computer.
Did you know this? I didn't.
Now I do...and I'm currently typing on the most protected computer in the Brazos Valley.
Right now a team of computer geniuses are backing up my precious data in a small blackroom probably located deep in the heart of Iceland with an armed guard guiding the entrance to the building and a doorman checking the placement of tastebuds on each person's tongue as they attempt entry to accurately identify and determine their security clearance levels.
Hmmm...that's probably not exactly true.
But it does give you a glimpse into my mind.
Scary, huh?
But...not as scary as no virus software on your computer.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
I have a confession...please don't tell anyone...
I love Duck Commander!!!!
Scott has one show that he dvr's every week. Duck Commander. It's a short, 30 minute show featuring the lives of a family deep in the heart of Louisiana who love to duck hunt. They video their hunts...their talks by the fire...their trials in trailer living...their weird facinations with meaningless things in life...you get the idea.
Scott records it.
And I watch it.
In secret.
Late at night when no one else is awake. I turn my t.v. on and I laugh so hard I think my face is going to fall off. These people are hilarious. I can't believe how brilliant they are. They get paid to just be themselves. I love it!
But...
When Scott turns on the hunting channel...
I beg to watch HGTV instead. And...he usually gives in.
So, I watch Design Star knowing that I can secretly catch Duck Commander later when everyone is asleep.
And...
I can laugh and cheer in private.
And keep up the facade that the hunting channel is just for men!
Don't tell anyone. Especially, don't tell Scott.
Sara and Titus 2
This semester we are trying to live out Titus 2 in a very intentional way at our house. Sara is a college student who'll be hanging with us more and more. She came to dinner on Tuesday night.
Reagan instantly loves everyone who comes to our house...as long as they don't try to take her away from Mama! Sam, on the other hand, is wise in the way of babysitters and was certain Sara was coming to do just that. He kept repeating over and over..."Mama, I no want Sara to come to my house."
But...on meeting Sara...he decided that she was pretty ok. Anyone who will play with sidewalk chalk on the back porch is pretty high up on the list.
So, last night was a no Sara night. Just the family. BUT...Samuel insisted that we set a plate for Sara. Just in case she wants to come, he said.
A cute moment, but I hope in a bigger way Sam will start learning about hospitality and loving others as we share our lives with Sara this year.
I love the biblical concept of mentoring. The older and younger...always in a trio. I have a hard time learning from those younger than I...part of that is my own stubborness, but part of it is by design. Wisdom comes from experience and typically experience come from age. I've only had one other experience mentoring a younger woman before and it was very different. We always met away from my family. With Sara, we are inviting her to come right on in. She's hopefully going to share a lot of dinners with us spend a lot of time on out on the back porch sharing stories and struggles.
Reagan instantly loves everyone who comes to our house...as long as they don't try to take her away from Mama! Sam, on the other hand, is wise in the way of babysitters and was certain Sara was coming to do just that. He kept repeating over and over..."Mama, I no want Sara to come to my house."
But...on meeting Sara...he decided that she was pretty ok. Anyone who will play with sidewalk chalk on the back porch is pretty high up on the list.
So, last night was a no Sara night. Just the family. BUT...Samuel insisted that we set a plate for Sara. Just in case she wants to come, he said.
A cute moment, but I hope in a bigger way Sam will start learning about hospitality and loving others as we share our lives with Sara this year.
I love the biblical concept of mentoring. The older and younger...always in a trio. I have a hard time learning from those younger than I...part of that is my own stubborness, but part of it is by design. Wisdom comes from experience and typically experience come from age. I've only had one other experience mentoring a younger woman before and it was very different. We always met away from my family. With Sara, we are inviting her to come right on in. She's hopefully going to share a lot of dinners with us spend a lot of time on out on the back porch sharing stories and struggles.
Happy Heart
Last night at the Kenley Casa...
Sam: Mom, I'm going to give you a hug.
Me: Oh good, I love your hugs.
(Sam and Mom hugging)
Sam: Mom, did that make your heart happy?
Me: ...speechless with a grateful heart....
Sam: Mom, I'm going to give you a hug.
Me: Oh good, I love your hugs.
(Sam and Mom hugging)
Sam: Mom, did that make your heart happy?
Me: ...speechless with a grateful heart....
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Sweet babies
This sweet little guy is named Bryson and he's become our favorite little person. He belongs to Jason and Courtney and we like to stop in and see him every chance we get.
We've walking together a couple of nights a week. Good memories and fun times! Except maybe last night when Samuel tried to jump out of the swing at the park in mid-swing!!!! :)
On this night, Samuel wanted to take a turn at holding him and Courtney let him. I thought this picture was so cute!
Explanations
Even I have a limit with the word vagina! I'm ready not to read that every time I come to my blog.
Some deep thoughts now. Hopefully tonight some cute pictures of the kiddos and some new video. We bought a little flip recorder this weekend and I can't wait to check it out.
But for now...some explanations.
I have wrestled with my role of a woman since I became a woman. That'd be about 31 years ago now! Recently...in the past couple of years...I've struggled with my role as a mother. What does God want from me? What do I want? How do my wants get in the way of His wants? Big stuff. Confusing stuff. Stuff that at one point I was sure I had figured out. Stuff that now I know I don't have figured out.
I live in conservative America. I worship at a conservative church. I was raised in a conservative church. The overwhelming message that I have received is that to be happy I have to be living out God's will for my life. I have to be following his desires for me. And...thankfully, I have the Bible to guide me. I also have a choir of voices, both from my past and present, that try to influence me.
I'm not good at fitting the conservative Baptist woman model. Really, who is? Some of my sweet sisters do a much better job than me. My mind has always been a little bent toward being....well...a rebel. So, when I begin to struggle with issues of biblical womanhood am I struggling because I have issues with authority or because something deep inside me knows that it can't be this simple. I've listened to extreme ideology - although not always advertised as that - for so long that I feared I might never be able to understand God's path for me.
Complicating all this is the Bible. Don't you love how people use the Bible. Any point can be proven simply by pulling out a verse. Ta da - the answer. Right here. You see? Except I don't always see things the way others do. And I, too often, want to point out the context - the bigger idea. You know...like reading the whole book instead of just a chapter.
I am in a small group and we are reading "Femine Appeal" by Carolyn Mahaney. It's based on Titus 2. She's the wife of CJ Mahaney and one of the voices behind The Council for Biblical Womanhood and Manhood. They have some wonderful ideas...some great passages of scripture. Some good guidance. But they are, in my opinion, extreme. The idea being that a woman should only be in the workforce if her husband is dead or disabled. Without those exceptions, scripture extorts her to be busy at home (Titus 2). This means embracing the lost art of homemaking. Carolyn says in her book that God has called a remnant of woman to carry forward these ideas. She talks about how we should pray for and SUFFER with our sisters in the workforce. She called feminist ideology "toxic."
Hmmm....
I'm left wondering. Did I feel lonely yesterday because I'm a Christian woman, mother of two, working part time as a licensed professional counselor? Would I be able to fully experience the joy of my Jesus is I were at home full time? Are my children suffering? Do they feel like they are my last priority?
I asked about a million questions. At first, I grabbed hold of this theology and tried to take it to the bank. Surely, this is what God wants from me. Scott, I said, I need to quit my job. I need to embrace homemaking.
I tried and I failed. I tried to turn off the part of my brain that craved other things. I tried to tell myself those yearnings were wrong.
I tried to make the matter simple.
It's not.
Turns out God created us as unique individuals. We are wonderfully made scripture says.
Turns out when I really dive into God's word I see that he's more interested in the status of our heart than the boxes we're trying to check off living in christian culture. In fact, according to christian culture, I have a lot of problems. In fact, to some legalists, I'm not even assured of my salvation right now. Hmmm...I know that's not right. Growing up Southern Baptist has some challenges, but I learned the word.
So, back to square one.
Here I am...this loud, lively, passionate, cause seeking, protest ready kinda gal. I live hard. I'd rather laugh with my babies than do laundry. My house is a mess most days than not. I love to cook, but you'll often find me playing at the park after dinner rather than mopping my floors. I have a gift in counseling. Shocking to most, but I listen to my clients. I feel with them. I hurt with them. I rejoice with them. I try my best to reflect Jesus to them. I feel assured that I'm serving in the ministry that God wants me.
I love my husband. I submit to his authority in my home. Turns out, though, that he married me because he loved me. Loud, opinionated me. When I tried to adopt a meek and mild attitude...he called my mom. What's wrong with her? he said.
I adore my children. I'm away from them 3 days a week. Not because my husband is disabled or dead, but because I have a ministry to do. They are in a warm, safe and loving place. They learn and grow. I don't see every step they take. But, I am their mom. They know that they are my first priority. When we are having a rough day...it's mom who calls for a day off. Their memories right now are filled with dance parties where we shake our booties, tall towers to keep out alligators, and painting so many pictures on our kitchen table that most art galleries would have a hard time housing them all.
All my searching has not erradicated the charge of Titus 2. God calls women to some very specific tasks. We should be busy at home. We should manage our households well. We should mentor younger women and teach them to love their husbands and children. There are a lot of things God tells us we should do. What he does not instruct us to do is set up legalistic rules that we impose on our sisters in Christ in either blatant or subversive ways that cause them to lose their joy in the calling Christ has for them.
Christians...we need to drop the banner or "shoulds and should not" and pick up the banner of "grace."
Throughout this struggle, I talked with my mom. Mom and I recently rekindled the joy of our relationship and having her wisdom at my disposal is one of the greatest gifts I have. I have tremendous regret that I took this for granted for so long. Mom is the most authentic person I know. I aspire to be that real. That ok with myself. It's a tough journey. I lived it with my Mom...watching her as she was put to the fire. The outcome of all of that, though, is so beautiful. I hope I'm that much of a woman...that much of person...when I am where she is.
My mom shared with me the quote I posted here after a long conversation. It was a moment of comic relief for us and I thought, beautiful. She gave me permission to post it on my blog. Except she meant my private blog. Oops. Oh well, the world is greater for that understanding.
Carolyn Mahaney has some good thoughts. I'd just tweak one, though.
Let's pray for and suffer with ALL of our sisters. Let's not get caught up in this game of trying to check off the right boxes in christian culture. Let's celebrate the people God has created in us. Let's follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit under the authorities he's placed us. And let's celebrate being sisters.
My parting thought...Hooray for the Hoo Hah.
p.s. I'm having t-shirts printed...submit your orders now! :)
Some deep thoughts now. Hopefully tonight some cute pictures of the kiddos and some new video. We bought a little flip recorder this weekend and I can't wait to check it out.
But for now...some explanations.
I have wrestled with my role of a woman since I became a woman. That'd be about 31 years ago now! Recently...in the past couple of years...I've struggled with my role as a mother. What does God want from me? What do I want? How do my wants get in the way of His wants? Big stuff. Confusing stuff. Stuff that at one point I was sure I had figured out. Stuff that now I know I don't have figured out.
I live in conservative America. I worship at a conservative church. I was raised in a conservative church. The overwhelming message that I have received is that to be happy I have to be living out God's will for my life. I have to be following his desires for me. And...thankfully, I have the Bible to guide me. I also have a choir of voices, both from my past and present, that try to influence me.
I'm not good at fitting the conservative Baptist woman model. Really, who is? Some of my sweet sisters do a much better job than me. My mind has always been a little bent toward being....well...a rebel. So, when I begin to struggle with issues of biblical womanhood am I struggling because I have issues with authority or because something deep inside me knows that it can't be this simple. I've listened to extreme ideology - although not always advertised as that - for so long that I feared I might never be able to understand God's path for me.
Complicating all this is the Bible. Don't you love how people use the Bible. Any point can be proven simply by pulling out a verse. Ta da - the answer. Right here. You see? Except I don't always see things the way others do. And I, too often, want to point out the context - the bigger idea. You know...like reading the whole book instead of just a chapter.
I am in a small group and we are reading "Femine Appeal" by Carolyn Mahaney. It's based on Titus 2. She's the wife of CJ Mahaney and one of the voices behind The Council for Biblical Womanhood and Manhood. They have some wonderful ideas...some great passages of scripture. Some good guidance. But they are, in my opinion, extreme. The idea being that a woman should only be in the workforce if her husband is dead or disabled. Without those exceptions, scripture extorts her to be busy at home (Titus 2). This means embracing the lost art of homemaking. Carolyn says in her book that God has called a remnant of woman to carry forward these ideas. She talks about how we should pray for and SUFFER with our sisters in the workforce. She called feminist ideology "toxic."
Hmmm....
I'm left wondering. Did I feel lonely yesterday because I'm a Christian woman, mother of two, working part time as a licensed professional counselor? Would I be able to fully experience the joy of my Jesus is I were at home full time? Are my children suffering? Do they feel like they are my last priority?
I asked about a million questions. At first, I grabbed hold of this theology and tried to take it to the bank. Surely, this is what God wants from me. Scott, I said, I need to quit my job. I need to embrace homemaking.
I tried and I failed. I tried to turn off the part of my brain that craved other things. I tried to tell myself those yearnings were wrong.
I tried to make the matter simple.
It's not.
Turns out God created us as unique individuals. We are wonderfully made scripture says.
Turns out when I really dive into God's word I see that he's more interested in the status of our heart than the boxes we're trying to check off living in christian culture. In fact, according to christian culture, I have a lot of problems. In fact, to some legalists, I'm not even assured of my salvation right now. Hmmm...I know that's not right. Growing up Southern Baptist has some challenges, but I learned the word.
So, back to square one.
Here I am...this loud, lively, passionate, cause seeking, protest ready kinda gal. I live hard. I'd rather laugh with my babies than do laundry. My house is a mess most days than not. I love to cook, but you'll often find me playing at the park after dinner rather than mopping my floors. I have a gift in counseling. Shocking to most, but I listen to my clients. I feel with them. I hurt with them. I rejoice with them. I try my best to reflect Jesus to them. I feel assured that I'm serving in the ministry that God wants me.
I love my husband. I submit to his authority in my home. Turns out, though, that he married me because he loved me. Loud, opinionated me. When I tried to adopt a meek and mild attitude...he called my mom. What's wrong with her? he said.
I adore my children. I'm away from them 3 days a week. Not because my husband is disabled or dead, but because I have a ministry to do. They are in a warm, safe and loving place. They learn and grow. I don't see every step they take. But, I am their mom. They know that they are my first priority. When we are having a rough day...it's mom who calls for a day off. Their memories right now are filled with dance parties where we shake our booties, tall towers to keep out alligators, and painting so many pictures on our kitchen table that most art galleries would have a hard time housing them all.
All my searching has not erradicated the charge of Titus 2. God calls women to some very specific tasks. We should be busy at home. We should manage our households well. We should mentor younger women and teach them to love their husbands and children. There are a lot of things God tells us we should do. What he does not instruct us to do is set up legalistic rules that we impose on our sisters in Christ in either blatant or subversive ways that cause them to lose their joy in the calling Christ has for them.
Christians...we need to drop the banner or "shoulds and should not" and pick up the banner of "grace."
Throughout this struggle, I talked with my mom. Mom and I recently rekindled the joy of our relationship and having her wisdom at my disposal is one of the greatest gifts I have. I have tremendous regret that I took this for granted for so long. Mom is the most authentic person I know. I aspire to be that real. That ok with myself. It's a tough journey. I lived it with my Mom...watching her as she was put to the fire. The outcome of all of that, though, is so beautiful. I hope I'm that much of a woman...that much of person...when I am where she is.
My mom shared with me the quote I posted here after a long conversation. It was a moment of comic relief for us and I thought, beautiful. She gave me permission to post it on my blog. Except she meant my private blog. Oops. Oh well, the world is greater for that understanding.
Carolyn Mahaney has some good thoughts. I'd just tweak one, though.
Let's pray for and suffer with ALL of our sisters. Let's not get caught up in this game of trying to check off the right boxes in christian culture. Let's celebrate the people God has created in us. Let's follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit under the authorities he's placed us. And let's celebrate being sisters.
My parting thought...Hooray for the Hoo Hah.
p.s. I'm having t-shirts printed...submit your orders now! :)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Simply Stated
"My vagina will be irrelevant on the day I meet my Maker."
- Honey
Life changing words for me...freedom.
- Honey
Life changing words for me...freedom.
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