There are no pictures...

...and I know you are disappointed. I'll overload you with pictures soon. Check back...tonight. Late, late tonight and you will see them.

But, I have thoughts. Lots of thoughts. And I need to put them someplace so that these thoughts can step their way toward reality.

Scott and I have been talking about purposeful parenting. We've also been talking about biblical manhood and womanhood - but that's for a different time.

I've been reading. I've been learning. And my heart has been going through a period of refinement.

I asked Scott the other night at dinner - "do you realize we have lost people living in this house?"

He looked at me like I was a little crazy.

He said with confidence - "Jenny, you need to take your medicine AND you need to remember that God shows grace to children."

Yes, yes. I get all that.

But, they are lost. They are little sinners who don't know they are sinners.

AND we have to teach them.

Specifically, I have to teach them.

About Jesus. And how to eat with their mouths closed.

Dear, God. Help me.

Really, help me. I can quickly become passive. I love sleep more than I love serving my family and listening to my husband. Really, I do. And I shouldn't.

And I'm busy. I'm busier than I've ever been in my entire life. Remember working and going to college - child's play. Remember that first job - piece of cake. Remember one sweet baby to love on - nothing. This two kids under 3, working part time, trying to have a life time - almost more than I can do. I feel like I am going full speed all the time. I get up at 5:30. In the morning. I wake up the chickens. They are still sleeping. And I go to bed late. I have piles of laundry and dishes. I have more poop than I know what to do. I've debated holding back on feeding the kids to cut down on the poop. You get the idea.

This is one of the happiest but busiest times of my life. A couple of sweet friends have mentioned my working lately. Listen, work part time...work full time...stay at home...when you have this much poop you are busy. I hope your smiling. And I promise to quit saying poop.

Scott has asked me to do something for our family and I've been fighting it. He believes that it's the right thing to do and deep down so do I. But I hate submitting to him. I HATE IT. I love submitting when it's something I want to submit to. But I fight it when it's something that I would rather not do.

So, I've done what I've done since I was in the 8th grade.

I've built my case.

I went to some very respected leaders and I copied their words and I gave them to my husband.
Scott said no.

I went to the BIBLE. The BIBLE. And I read some scripture. Then I read these scriptures to my husband.

Scott said I took all of it out of context. He was right. I did. But it is the BIBLE I said.

Scott said no.

Then I got a good mad on. A really good mad. A 'look out mama's coming and she ain't happy kinda mad' on.

Scott was irritated at this point. He still said no.

And all I accomplished with these antics was to spend a few days tearing down my family.

Complete opposite of my goal.

Confession is good.

I thought that I couldn't fulfill my role of teaching the kids - of living out Proverbs 31 in my home until Scott said yes. But I was wrong. This is a short time in my life - a very short time - and God is teaching me something in the waiting. Scott loves the Lord. And rarely, RARELY in our marriage has he felt this strongly about a decision we were making as a family. The only other time that I can recall was his deciding that we needed to stop trying for our first baby. And we did. I didn't think it was the right decision, but I submitted to him and we soon found out that Sam was coming.

So, I think I'm going to start working with him instead of against him.

Which brings me back to purposeful parenting. You thought I forgot? I didn't.

I'm wrestling with how we actively bring Christ into this home.

Here are some ideas.

I've been telling Sam bible stories and we've been acting them out. He loves the arm getures and such and I get to fulfill my need for drama. LOVE IT!

We've been listening to a kids bible song cd in the car. These little tunes carry big messages and Sam picks up on them very quickly.

We've talked about going to church and why we go. It's a simple definition - we go because we love Jesus. Sam can understand this. Although we may have gone overboard - last night he put on his junior ranger hat and declared "I go big church, mama." I told him bye-bye and he went to the playroom. lol. Maybe he found Jesus in there.

And not to leave sweet Ray out. Every chance I get I whisper in her hear about much God loves her. She just smiles. I think she's getting it.

If you have other ideas, post them. I'm counting on both of my readers to respond. lol :)

Jenny

P.S. Yes, I used the word submit in this post. Dear College friends, please seek medical help if you injured yourself falling on the floor.