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I want to write something so I remember it. So that some day when life is hard I can come back and read this.
Yesterday was a not so great day. We had problems. Some small, some big, and some very big.
Scott and I started to panic. I could feel the panic coming. It was like a turtleneck sweater that fits way too tight. It is the feeling you get when your baby has a fever and it is 2:00 in the morning and you don't know what to do. It is a suffocating kinda feeling.
But then something happened. Words came to my mind. Scripture. Verses of God's word and I began to think and meditate on those things. I began to pray and then we prayed together. We prayed words of the Psalms.
And calmness began to reign again in our home. Our minds were opened and we were able to think clearly. We began to work together to solve the problems. Without the panic, the problems seem much more manageable.
It doesn't always work like this. When you write things on a blog sometimes you don't mention that life can be ugly. That we sin every day. We only post happy pictures and someone could get the idea that we live in a bubble. But the truth is that sometimes I give in to the panic. It is almost as if I enjoy the feeling. Isn't that crazy? Because if you asked me, I'd tell you "heck no, I don't enjoy this. this is awful!" But I must enjoy some part of it because I know that the way to calm it - the way to make satan and his demon of anxiety back off is to start throwing scripture at him.
The bible says that we are to ascribe God's word to the walls of our hearts. We are to write them on the door frames of our houses. We are to know them. We are to teach them to our children.
Sam had no idea what was happening yesterday. He had no idea that his parents were working through some problems. But soon, very soon, he'll be more aware. He needs to see us relying on God and God's promises in these times the most.
The problems are not gone. But I have a calm assurance today that God is in control and that He will protect us from those that seek our ruin.